How Minerva Changed Me- 4 mins
I wrote this journal entry as I entered the next chapter of my life. I thought I would share it here as a way of inspiring others to reflect on change.
~ I have really changed, haven’t I? ~
I’m standing, waiting for my plane to board at the SFO airport. Red eye to Newark, Uber to NYU dorm, settle in, meet roommate, get lunch with Grace, work a bit, workout…? Is my life determined by the plans I make? Or am I a particle floating through space and time? Oh Minerva, making me ask the real questions.
What a journey. I literally cannot believe this incredible time has come to an end. Just yesterday it feels as though I was messing around wrestling on the floors of 1412 with Wu. Next, getting a Chimaec with Ryan and CH. Ordering thickshakes in India from Swiggy. Inviting Amenti, Samad, and Chris over for dinner in Berlin. Or adventuring across London in search of fun whether it be at Queen’s Club or Bricklane. Even SF, the place I thought I liked least has become a home. Bonfires, BBQs, the sun, the friends, tennis games, nights out. Friends.
Honestly, Minerva was all about the friends I made and the experiences we had TOGETHER. It wouldn’t have been the same if I was doing it myself. My friends are some of the most incredibly diverse, interesting, loving, and talented people I know. It’s just absolutely insane how we all came together and had this lifetime experience.
I changed a lot at Minerva. It didn’t seem like it as I did it, but now looking back at who I was versus who I am today is crazy. I understand myself way better. I think deeper than I ever have. And yet, I also feel more faded. So so many experiences, and so the marginal one means less? I’m not sure. Maybe its just the wear and tear of the brain.
I don’t think I was a camp counsellor (haha Amenti) coming out of Eton. But now I am. I know how to schedule fun things. And I take the lead on most things. I can read people way better, and I know how to make memories with them. I also am just way more energy. I am always looking for excitement. And if it isn’t in the room, I’ll make it myself.
When I started Minerva, I was much more confused. I couldn’t fully grasp the meaning of pushing and pulling my life wherever I choose. I couldn’t just stroll up to someone, say whatever I wanted, and see how they reacted and make them laugh frequently.
I also made the most of it. Like I’ve learned to do in any situation. I can take life by the balls more, and it’s almost like a drug. If you’re not living the life you live when you’re reading this in the future, Alexander (or anyone for that matter), then you better bloody make it the life you want to be living.
I learned how to control myself better. Happiness is construct like anger. I know what makes me angry. So I just don’t let it. I learned this from some deep conversations with friends. Anger has no time or place in my life (not as if I was that angry anyways, just small things can annoy me sometimes).
Looking back to this whirlwind of a chapter in my life, I can’t believe all the things I did, people I met, places I saw. Thank goodness for photography so I can at least get small glimpses into my past. Otherwise, I’d probably forget all of those things I treasure so dearly. It was a halcyon time. But all such times come to and end. This is the end. I didn’t think it would come; but it inevitably did.
To all my friends, thank you. I couldn’t and wouldn’t have had the impactful life worthy journey I’ve been through without you. To my family, thank you. I’m beyond fortunate to have a life where you support me unconditionally. I am thankful for the luck bestowed upon me. I can’t wait to make the most of it. Finally, to everyone else. The man serving food at a cafe I ate at. The person who cleaned the toilet I pissed in. The train driver who got me safely from point A to point B. The world that exists at the boundaries of my peripheral vision. Thank you. For the life I lead is short, and it definitely would feel so much shorter if I didn’t have the opportunity to do the things I do without your behind-the-scenes existence.
I need to take time for myself. But this will only happen when I am fulfilled. It’s been a lot, it’s going to be a lot. But I’m ready. Life is and has been going at 100mph, and a lot more won’t hurt. Just make sure to be present, embrace its quirks, live it the fuck up, and be thankful. Thank you.